Ugly Birds and Unexplainable Dogs

Our readership continues to widen! How exciting! We may have to start including ads soon in order to cover the high cost of putting this out.


We hit a readership of six on day two.


Today's distribution is a return to form, leaving the human interests aside for a bit to cover what we all really care about: Cute animals doing silly things. 


I still believe this is why the Internet exists.  Later in the Report, readership opinions will divide over the desirability of cute animal content.

Let's ease into it, though, with an animal that is slightly less than cute and a story that, were it to involve humans, would find a home next to Monday's GoogleMaps story.  Poor Nelson the abandoned bird... Just because something's ugly doesn't mean you can abandon it, Mama bird and Papa bird!  If that was a common human practice, I would have grown up an only child!  (Related: Everyone welcome Sarah [my sister] as one of our newest readers!)  But it's not all bad news for Nelson, since it looks like he grows up to be quite a stud.  No doubt he'll soon be taking the crown at Mr. Parrot Pageants!  He's already practiced checking himself out in front of the mirror in anticipation.


In a similar blend of ugly and cute, following up on last week's much talked about unexplainable cats, we have their unexplainable canine companions.  Thankfully this is less terrifying than those unexplainable cats... But that really only speaks to how totally creepy those cats were.


Some commentary, I suppose:

#19. So cute. So tiny.

#32. What is going on he- OHMYGODNO WHAT IS #33?!?!

#36 looks so cozy.  But still quite pugly.  That is to say, something so ugly that it's freaking adorable.  (This is one of the earliest pieces of wordplay I ever had.  Sarah can back me up on that one.)

#46 is so effing cute.  I want one for the apartment.

And, of course, I hope #50 gets vacuumed before getting back inside...

Corgis will become a regular feature of the Report.

That's all for today!  Hope long-time followers appreciate the increased commentary and professional appearance of this new distribution format!  Remember, "longtime followers" refers to those receiving less formal emails.  And look how proud I was of remembering to use one tiny button on Gmail.  Small miracles.  Tune in tomorrow for some more interesting animals, including one from Seacoast New Hampshire!  (No, not Archer...)

This will not be the last time that I promise a certain type of content and then fail to deliver.