Ice Cream, Veggies, and -- SQUIRREL!

 Some great responses to yesterday's report.  Lots of fans of monkeys, though I agree with one submitter that large monkeys are sometimes a bit disconcertingly *too* human.  Another boasted about being lucky enough to avoid following the 10 Commandments of Meetings by simply avoiding meetings altogether.  And yet another noted some potential for an exciting level in Walden, wherein the player takes part in the "war between two races of ants, the red always pitted against the black," that Thoreau describes in Chapter 12.  I wonder, though... Would you play as one ant engaged in battle, or would you command an ant army?

So now, dear readers, what rewards do you get for reaching the end of the week?  How about some ice cream?  Seriously!  Chicken and Waffles ice cream!  How crazy is that?  And here I was thinking I was all big and creative two years ago when I candied a bunch of bacon, tossed it in fudge ice cream, and called it "Pig Pen."  These guys blow me away.  Of course, I get it, that's not for everyone.  Vegetarians, for starters... But as I'm drafting this before bed, I've no doubt that I'll have ice cream dreams tonight.  Though hopefully not as vivid as this kid's...  (Does anyone else find it weird that there are SO many links to other videos of kids in similar sleep-versus-treat dilemmas?  Though I admit at least two of our readers have access to a photo of a young reporter with his face in a bowl full of breakfast... And if either of those readers provide them, they will be included in a future report.)

As for the aforementioned vegetarians, perhaps you should have a word with this blogger.  These reviews of vegetables, while undeniably hilarious and mildly NSFW (in the event that your boss doesn't like F-Bombs emblazoned across your computer screen) suggest that the blogger eats nothing but meat and potatoes.  (See the "About" page for the exoneration of potatoes.)   If this veggie-hating blogger was a zoo animal, I bet we'd see this sort of behavior.  Except for the manatee one.  Manatees are all about the veg.  Sea cows.

If animals are going to come that close to me, I want them to be a little more docile.  Something smaller.  Something like... The animals that have come far too close to me for the past four years.  Aww, squirrels.  Love those guys.  So many of them hanging out in the snow!  So many of them with little snow flakes on their little noses!  And I'm loving the leg-lift on the kitten-kiss.

And with that, I leave you for the weekend; I'm off to New York!  But I'll spend a little of today in Yoknapatawpha County, celebrating the 60th anniversary of the publication of William Faulkner's Go Down, Moses, one of my personal favorites!

Thou Shalt Meet, Clearing the Cuteness Backlog, and www.alden.pond

I'm thrilled to be writing two days in a row, if only because it means that I'm not stuck "in another fucking mtg." following these Ten Commandments.  Seriously, though, so many completely pointless meetings this week... I've been all about Commandment 2, while meeting coordinators and presenters seem to be tending toward 4 more and more.  And there I am, stuck coffee-coveting and doodling, knowing that I could be back at my desk producing important aviation documentation.  (People must know to beware of the linen trousers!)

Or I could be back here, continuing to develop an overwhelming backlog of adorable animal photography.  You know what?  It's been a long week, let's unload some of this.  You all deserve it.  Yesterday's Wild Things, though cute in their own way, just can't compare to good old fashioned monkey-dog bonding.  While monkeys carrying dogs and monkeys using dogs for transportation make up the majority of the pictures, the monkey-dog hugs (especially 17) and the classic "Sir, no touching the dog, please" of number 7 are my favorites.  Maybe the monkey would have more luck protecting the dog from unwanted human contact if he created a force shield around him.  One of these animals can help.  And, when he has successfully mastered the techniques of the force, that monkey will have every right to feel just as proud as these animals.  Only, he should try not to show it.  Nothing's more douchey than an animal that's all like "Do you know who I am? I'm kind of a big deal..."  Well, except maybe a human that's all like "Do you know who I am? I'm kind of a big deal."

And one final item to get you through your Thursday:  Lately, the weather when I leave for work has been a bit rainy, but when I arrive at my office, it clears for the next nine hours, until it is time for me to head home, and the clouds and rains roll in again.  So I've frequently found myself thinking, "If only there was a way for me to enjoy the great outdoors from the comfort of my desk."  Well, the good people at the National Endowment for the Arts must have heard my cry, because they are providing funding for the development of a Walden video game.  And really, is there any text more deserving of a video game?  Just imagine playing out Chapter 12 of Henry David Thoreau's classic book: "You only need sit still long enough in some attractive spot in the woods that all its inhabitants may exhibit themselves to you by turns."  Just put the controller down and watch people and creatures pass by.  A video game is the most obvious way to live through Thoreau's most famous line: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."  Because hey, no pressure!  In the game environment, when you come to die, if you discover you had not lived, you don't need to worry about it; you've probably got four more lives anyway!  Depends how you did foraging for 1-Up mushrooms.

It's Mother's Day in Mexico!  Wish the madres in your life un día bueno!

Mourning Report: King of All Wild Things

In the last edition of the Report, I discussed my online music time travel adventures.  One reader used my Lady Marmalade reference to follow a train of thought about one marmalade loving Paddington Bear.  He notes, though, that Paddington's Wikipedia page does nothing to bring to mind the adorable children's book character of memory.  First, there's that creepy statue picture, then there's the description:  "Paddington is an anthropomorphised bear... from Deepest, Darkest Peru, with his old hat, battered suitcase, duffle coat."  We would be wise to follow Jon's advice:  If anything matching that description turned up in Paddington Station... Call the police immediately... See something, say something.

Today's report also focuses on a legendary figure of children's literature, as we reflect on the passing of Maurice Sendak.  Though Sendak wrote and/or illustrated over 100 books during his career, readers no doubt remember him most for the classics Where the Wild Things Are and In the Night Kitchen. Anyone familiar with my wardrobe or bookshelf will know that I am a huge fan of Where the Wild Things Are, owning three t-shirts based on the book, the book itself, and two copies of Dave Eggers' novel adaptation  (One fur covered, one not).  For today's report, I felt it would be appropriate to compile some of my favorite Sendak (or tangentially related) web items.

First, a trailer for the Spike Jonze's film adaptation.  I admit it, this is what sparked my resurgence of Sendak enthusiasm.  I also admit that I have watched that trailer more than any other movie preview ever in my life.  Furthermore, I think it might be better than the film itself, though the film has some beautiful and poignant moments that don't make the two minute cut.  Still, the wondrous visuals, the Arcade Fire soundtrack, and the "Inside All of Us" tag-line led to months of giddy anticipation.  And as long as I'm admitting things, I went to that movie alone at 11:00 AM on opening day, after having stayed up all night writing an English paper.  That's how much the trailer worked on me.  (And as long as we're doing tangential stories, Max Records, who stars as Max, is also featured in the opening of Rian Johnson's phenomenal The Brothers Bloom, an opening that can really stand as it's own short film.)

Spike Jonze wasn't the first one who saw screen potential in Sendak's famous book, though.  Disney once owned the adaptation rights to the book, but never brought it to theaters.  The idea was used, though, in some very early testing of 3D computer animation.  This 1983 test animation was spearheaded by none other than John Lasseter, now Chief Creative Officer at Pixar and Disney Animation Studios, and director of Pixar's first three films.  It is no coincidence that a writer and artist that so respects the children that are viewed has his primary audience once inspired the early work of a filmmaker whose studio does the same.

Finally, some interviews.  Of course, Stephen Colbert's highly entertaining interview in two parts is worth a view.  As is this 2004 interview with Bill Moyers.  The real great ones, though, are on NPR.  Throughout his career, Sendak had several conversations (they can hardly be called interviews, they are so comfortable) with Terry Gross, and NPR has conveniently compiled them on one remembrance page.  His reflections here are beautiful, but I advise against listening to them at work, unless you are comfortable with your coworkers seeing you cry.  (This is especially true for the most recent interview.)  If there is any quote worth pulling here, though, it is one NPR has already pulled and bolded:  "I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more... What I dread is the isolation... There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."  I find comfort in knowing this.  We ate him up, we loved him so.  And as one reader of the report has observed, that may mean he's still alive.

And, having eaten him up, may we be like Maurice:  Creative, honest, perseverant, and respectful of children...

And may we also be like Max:  Unafraid to make mischief, courageous enough to sail off through night and day, and brave enough to tame our wild things...

And when we grow lonely and tire of the wild rumpus, may we always have a place to go where someone loves us best of all...

And when we get there, may we find our supper waiting for us... still hot.

 

Til tomorrow, reporting from the desk where the filed things are,

~Evan