Not a whole slew of links and commentary today, much as I want to share and reflect on a bunch of side dish recipes (brussels sprouts have never looked so good), the first Thanksgiving (Venison, drunk kids, dancing? Sounds standard to me...), and the history of turkey pardoning (Rest In Peace, Peace). Instead, just an appropriately timed message of thanks.
When the Report started over seven months ago, it was a different
animal. It had three readers, the links were just copied and pasted
into the text, there was no banner at all, let alone the celebratory
holiday pie in the sky we've got today. On the 29th Report,
I thought there were 30, and a banner and blog were born to celebrate.
A week later the first custom banner came. And this whole time, the
distribution list was climbing.
This project has been and continues to be an absolute joy for me.
Sure, I have no way of knowing how many people open the e-mail, read it,
or click the links. I only get some idea based on responses in real
life and in e-mails. But still, just the idea of any readership at all
makes it worth it. Everyday tons of people explore the web. But not
everybody gets to share their explorations with great people like you
all.
So, if you've read this far into this message, I'm assuming you're a
regular reader, and I want to thank you. Thank you for clicking the
links. For putting up with the puns and inane reflection. For
listening to me go on about the things that I care about. For
responding to the things that you care about and opening my eyes to new
things.
And if you aren't reading this... Thanks for keeping the illusion alive by staying on the distribution list.
But to all of you, whether this gets read vigilantly or filtered to spam, I think there are four ladies who can put it best... Thank you for being a friend.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families. (An admittedly selfish gesture, as I am family for some of you.)
A special late night "Morning" Report today from New Hampshire today
after a day of travel. Normally, I'd let things slide and go on
vacation as you've seen me do in the past. But as I was flying home
today I realized there was one crucial link for this holiday season that
I'd failed to distribute, so a late night report was called for. An
advance warning, things below and across the link are going to get a bit
vulgar.
Here on Thanksgiving Eve, we're about to enter a day of seasonal
transition. After tomorrow, Fall decor is out of style. Gone are the
autumn leaves, the mini-pumpkins, the oranges, the browns, the yellows.
Snowmen come out of storage, Santas are up on shelves, giant lawn
snowglobes get inflated. Now, tis the season. But what many people
fail to realize is that 'tis been the season all along. Just... A
different season.
In the month of November, with the Jack O'Lanterns and witches gone,
a few pieces of Halloween are allowed to remain as a new season
begins. That's right... The link a few of you have been waiting for
this whole time... Its Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.
I know, I'm late on this classic, but a promise is a promise, and it
had to be distributed before the season passed. Of course, Colin
Nissan's sign-off is a bit out of season now, as we can no longer say
"Welcome to autumn," no matter what expletive we put after it. Still,
if you like Nissan's sentiment, his immortal words are available on a mug!
Today's a great day to follow in your father's footsteps. Not only was Ken Griffey, Jr. born today, but so was Christopher Tolkien.
Before certain events of last week, I already knew this was going to be a
week of food-centric reporting. We are, after all, coming up upon the
most food-centric holiday of the year. (Sure we try to cover our
gluttony with a few remarks about American historical legends and saying
what we are thankful for, but in reality the day is built around a bird
and a slew of side dishes.) Today's post is all about food, but
hopefully not a food item that ever graced your Thanksgiving table.
At the end of last week, Hostess Brands
filed for bankruptcy, seeking permission to close its business and sell
its assets. This announcement came with the news that "Bakery
operations have been suspended at all plants," suggesting that never
again will another Twinkie, Ho-Ho, or Ding-Dong be made. As one who has
never eaten any of these products, I'm not alarmed by this, but the
Internet is in something of an uproar. People are supermarket sweeping these things off the shelves,
stockpiling them as if the zombie apocalypse was nigh. Twinkies, of
course, would be an obvious choice for the zombie apocalypse (as noted
by the characters of Zombieland) as urban legend suggests they have an infinite shelf life. Even Wall-E cleverly followed this assertion, pairing the golden sponge cake treat with another great survivor of note, the cockroach.
While they may survive a zombie apocalypse or the pollution-based
destruction of the planet, it seems there is one disaster these treats
cannot survive: the current economy.
I'm not about to rush off to Safeway or ebay to buy some Twinkies before they join this list of foods of yesteryear. (Oh the fond memories of wondering wondering ooh, I did, I did, what's in a Wonderball; hunting for the granny while eating delicious waffle crisp,
and trying to figure out what in the world was in Orbitz. Not to
mention the lack of memories associated with the battery-acid flavored
mind-eraser that was Four Loko.) That said, as I do with most of these
discontinued products, I do miss the advertising. Hostess really had some great ads,
and while I am too young to really remember Twinkie the Kid, I did love
the "Where's the cream filling?" series of ads, from the bear to the shark to the rhino.
Alas, with the financial collapse of Hostess (confound healthier
diets!), the question those animals ask now seems to mock us. "Where's
the cream filling?" Though perhaps no longer in our pantries or our
stomachs, the cream filling lives on in our memories and our hearts. No
seriously, though, a little bit of that cream filling is probably
resting in the arteries of anyone who ever consumed one of those things,
so it's definitely in our hearts.
Make sure you have room in your schedule for some walking and talking today, it's Allison Janey's birthday. (If walking and talking isn't your thing, go fly a kite.)
