Grand Old Flag Day

Did you feel different when you woke up this morning?  More patriotic?  Subconsciously drawn to the stripes in your wardrobe?  Waving to people as you walked past?  That's because today is a special day... No, not Pizza Day.  It's Flag Day!  So today we have a special patriotic edition of the Morning Report.

Before we begin, a note.  I have already been in communication with some readers today who disapprove of this celebratory acknowledgement of the adoption of our flag (by the Second Continental Congress back in 1777).  Some voices of dissent worry about this mindless, overdone nationalism.  These voices, no doubt, are the same Yankee Doodle Dandies who sing choruses of "I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy, But I also retain my cultural heritage from my parents’ nation of choice," rather than "God bless America. We basically just kick ass" when attending a Reworked Patriotic Songs Sing-Along.  Well, whether you're bedazzled with flag pins, dressed slate grey in opposition to potentially xenophobic side-effects, or just saw the calendar in your office today and said "Oh, it's Flag Day," (Guilty) the Report is observing.

And we begin our observation with some important rules about Old Glory that you probably didn't know.  Certainly you knew that flag burning was a big faux-pas in the fitfty nifty, save for those boy scouts engaging in proper disposal following a flag that has accidentally been unceremoniously sullied by the ground.  But were you aware of the rules surrounding one-night stands with the stars and stripes?  Though really, who does this apply to?  At 235, if the flag is sleeping with any of our readers, well... I guess OLD Glory is something of a cougar.

But, as we all (should) know, the waving flag that we know today was not always the fifty-starred fixture found on our current poles.  The original Flag Resolution of 1777 states that "the flag of the United States be thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation."  It's funny to imagine that teenage flag, and all its variants as it grew up.  But, I suppose it's sort of funny to imagine all political things in their youth.  Oh, little Mitt, how adorable you were when you were a child, displaying some semblance of human emotion.  Though as #22 indicates, even as children the Romneys had trouble with appropriate human behavior... "Look's like somebody brought a gun to a... Oh, it's not a knife fight?  It's a baby?  My bad."

But here I go getting political in the Report.  Apologies, dear readers... Before you know it, I'll be making comments about how appropriate the head in the sand photo of #9 is.  And speaking of heads of state... Oh, Game of Thrones producers... Even Petyr Baelish would have told you that was a bad idea. (Perhaps with a wave of his Littlefinger. Boom.)

Dear me, patriotism turned to political jest.  Please, readers, accept these patriotic puppies as an apology.

Get FIRED up for the rest of your day... It's the Donald's birthday!

Oh, and tomorrow will bring big news for the 30th Report!