Final Countdown Day 4 - The Most Lavish Party

Another entry in the Great Experiment, in which we release all of our Arrested Development reports at once, Netflix style!

Up to this point, we've refreshed our knowledge on running jokes and minor characters.  With that refresher course, you're just about ready to host your Arrested Development Season 4 Party.  The only thing left to plan is the party itself.

There's no shortage of sites right now that will give you all the party planning advice you need.  VH1 is in on the action with the most basic list.  "Booze, banners, balloons," to start things off almost sounds like a Schrutian reference to another recently concluded sitcom.  Their friendly reminder to have guests show up is also a nice way to revisit the one time in 53 episodes that you sort of feel bad for Lucille.  Boston.com has a pretty solid list that covers attire, food, and activities.  Buzzfeed even helps you out with making some of the less appealing Arrested food items a little more palatable, modifying the recipe for that Bluth family favorite, Hot Ham Water.  The Huffington Post also has great food suggestions, while Brightest Young Things riffs on the characters names instead of the show's menu.

To save you some time exploring all the different party suggestions, here's a rough outline of what to expect when I finally get around to holding mine.  (It's gonna be a re-viewing party a couple weeks after the premiere.  Mark your calendars, book your flights!)

COSTUMES

You'd better be wearing one.  I'm not asking you to blue yourself or find something that says "Dad loves leather," even the slightest costume will do.  Toss on some cut-offs and glasses and come as Tobias.  Tie some scarves together, clutch a knife in your teeth and you're a magician called GOB.  Put on your high-fastening pants and slide your hand up your sleeve, boom, you're Buster!  And finally, an excuse to whip out theSLUT t-shirt you've had tucked away in your closet all these years.  Just don't wear the elephant broach -- you don't want to invite the comparison.

DECOR

First of all, the banner is a must.  While "FAMILY LOVE MICHAEL" is nice, I'm partial to "You're killing me, Buster." Ambitious hosts can turn their stairs into a staircar and build a model home homefill warhead to put in the secret room.  Disguise your bathroom as the Aztec Tomb!  And be sure to clean the attic in case anyone goes up there to have pop-pop.

ACTIVITIES

Sure the highlight of the night will be 15 new episodes of Arrested Development, but you probably want to warm-up a bit.  Sandracing and marksmanship are good group activities, just be sure to have the proper awards.  A rousing game of "Pin the Eyebrow on Stan Sitwell" makes for good fun, too.  And if the urge to dance hits you, might I suggest the chicken dance?  Karaoke is always good family fun, too.

FOOD

Here's what's going to make or break your Arrested party.  You've got plenty to choose from, choose wisely!

• Candy Beans - Make sure you have an extra bowl, just in case something goes wrong with Sitwell's eyebrows.
• Frozen Bananas - Obviously.  But remember, 10 cents gets you nuts.  And watch out for Mr. Banana-grabber.
• Ice cream sandwiches - Go ahead, have a love affair with one!
• Hot Ham Water - Served watery, but with a smack of ham.
• Cornballs - For a danger-filled activity, invite guests to make their own cornballs.
• Fried cheese and other dippable food items... With club sauce.
• Skip's Scramble - Don't order the Skip's Scramble.
• Cereal - Serve in an ash tray.
• Mayon-egg - Step 1. Take a packet of mayonaise... It's so cute.

DRINK

Here are a few character-based beverages you can offer your guests.  Just be sure to finish all the bottles before the night ends so the booze doesn't go bad.  You're guests will leave tipsier than Lucille Austero!

• Tobias Is Queen Mary - 1 part (Cloudmir) vodka, 1 part blue curaçao, 2 parts cranberry juice, serve with sugar rim to imitate diamond cream. 
• Buster - Unlimited juice, great for the designated rivers and a guarantee that your party will be off the hook!
• The George-Michael - Skip the drinks and smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.
• The Lucille - A vodka rocks and a piece of toast.

On the Next Morning Report: We learn more about the one narrator who had the voice to keep them all together.

"Michael, you haven’t heard why I want it. To throw the most lavish party this town has ever seen for my birthday." - Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development