Monday, July 30, 2012

The Report Rises

Do not worry, dear readers, I did not abandon you.  I had merely gone into quiet, Bruce Wayne-esque isolation for a while.  But it didn't take eight years, a cat burglar, and a masked man who talks like the love-child of Sean Connery and Yoda pulling a Tommy Boy... It just took a day where things weren't so busy at the office.  And so, after a pair of busy weeks at work, the Morning Report Rises!
 

And in a Report named after an ending, it's only appropriate to discuss endings, as well.  In a now long-distant Report, we discussed great opening lines to literature.  Here, the Guardian has compiled the ten best closing lines in literature.  Of course, given numerous Gatsby references in the report and an entire report dedicated to F. Scott Fitzgerald's great novel, it's no surprise I strongly agree with their first choice.  Ulysses and Heart of Darkness, too, seem to me strong choices, and I've always had a soft-spot for Finn's lighting out for the territory, even if the greatness of that final line is tainted by the profound weakness of the book's closing chapters.  Once again, though, the commentary on the countdown calls out some other options that I believe are far stronger than those selected in the Top Ten.  This time, the final reflection on kid-lit (kudos to them for acknowledging it) draws attention to the closing line of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, "And it was still hot."
 

But wait!  The Guardian misquotes Mr. Sendak, saying Max's supper was "still warm."  For shame, Guardian.  For shame.  This is nearly as bad as the woman I overheard this weekend who, upon hearing a young boy in her party remark that Roald Dahl was dead, said, "Yes, that was sad, wasn't it.  Did you ever read Where the Wild Things Are?"  Oh goodness!  What is this world coming to?  Yes, Roald Dahl's death was sad... But not for the young boy casually mentioning it, as he was not yet born in 1990 when Dahl passed.  Obviously that woman has not decorated her son's room like this.  (As I intend to do.  To my son's room.  Not hers.)
 

And in traditional report form, let's include some stories about animals to make up for lost time.  First, Batmanatee and his fellow underwater patrolers, courtesy of Kevin.  No doubt the Flash Manatee (whose name, not ending in "man," offers no convenient portmanteau) travels at a blazing seven miles per hour.  Still not faster than the Manatee Justice League's arch-nemesis The Propeller.  And here are an overwhelming number of cute animals and things.  To provide commentary on them all would be overwhelming, so let me just say that the return to reporting has me as happy as the sheep in 16.
 

How appropriate given today's Report title, that it would turn out to be Christopher Nolan's birthday.  I hope he has a tattoo to remind him to celebrate... Then again, he probably has dreams within dreams about this day!

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