Dogs, Doctors, and Jews with Words

While yesterday's Report was television-based to commemorate a death, today's is a book-based birthday celebration.  My all-time favorite novelist, Michael Chabon, celebrates his 49th birthday today, so we're going to celebrate him in today's report. 

Many of you no doubt have heard me talk about him, and you've likely seen the photo of the two of us that pops-up now and then as a profile picture.  (I'm the one grinning like an idiot... Which I'm fairly certain is how I came off.)  You might even recognize him Simpson-ized, but you won't have seen him as one of People's "50 Most Beautiful People," though he was nominated, and with good reason.  (He turned the "honor" down, later saying, "To be praised for something like that is just weird. It just felt like somebody calling and saying, 'We want to put you in a magazine because the weather's so nice where you live.'")  And speaking of the weather where you live, Chabon writes some pretty great weather descriptions, captured here in fourteen skies.  If you'd rather be read to than read, though, here's Chabon reading from his most recent book, The Astonishing Secret of Awesome Man.

Chabon's novels, stories, and essays are just great, though roots in genre fiction and comic books have led some (presumably jealous) critics of his work to bemoan him as too much of a nerd.  Chabon dismisses the word as "woefully imprecise" in one of his essays, but clearly embraces what it stands for, even if he doesn't necessarily bear some of the other trademarks associated with it ("physical awkwardness, high-water trousers, loserhood, emotional retardation, etc.").  But as far as descriptors are concerned, he could do worse, especially given "nerd's" literary roots.  The word, I learned from this great list of facts you may not know, was coined by Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, in his book If I Ran the Zoo.  Actually, I was surprised by how much I learned from that list, especially given I've read two biographies and all of his books.  (Favorite: I Had Trouble In Getting To Solla Sollew.  Readership survey: What is yours?)

And, in an effort to maintain the Report's reputation for interesting articles, videos, and web-findings, while maintaining its original links to cuteness... I wonder what these canine readers would think of the Cat In the Hat...

Those of you who don't like reading but do like comic book movies can opt to celebrate a different birthday today.  Alfred Molina, who played Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2, is 59 today.  Throw him the idol, he'll throw you the whip!

That's all for this week; I'm out of the office tomorrow.  The Report will resume on Tuesday, following the Memorial Day holiday.  Enjoy the long weekend!

No doubt, as usual, I have exaggerated everything,

--Evan

Remote Ctrl-Alt-Del

Today in the report, we commemorate the recent passing of Eugene Polley, the engineer for Zenith Electronics who is best known for inventing the first wireless remote control for television.  Polley's work, then, may be seen as tangentially responsible for decreasing viewer attention spans, with quick channel changing serving as a preview for the rapid YouTube clicking and tab-changing during Hulu commercials characteristic of contemporary content consumers.  (How's that for alliteration?!)  It is also sort of his fault that a bunch of people went to have a good, mindless time watching Adam Sandler be mindless and left theaters crying like babies, contemplating mortality, and carpe-ing their diems as if they'd just seen Robin Williams climb on a desk.

Perhaps humans could learn something from the more focused television viewing habits of the animal TV enthusiasts of the world.  Even seated next to the remote, the bulldog resists the urge to change away from Family Guy.  And that turtle is incredibly focused... Or maybe it's just taking him a while to process the signed interpretation being provided in the foreground.  Perhaps this turtle would make more use of the remote... Or just argue with itself about what it wants to watch.

And finally, one of my greatest television-related finds of all time.  IFC put together this list of the top 50 comedy sketches of all time.  Of course, the list is a few years old... Otherwise I think we might see a clip from SNL's Lawrence Welk show or travel tips from Steffon.  But that list is still full of gems, and starts off strong.  Gerald Ford is Dead Today will always be a personal favorite.

So thank you, Mr. Polley, for making us shift around innatentively.  By allowing us easy access to different channels, you paved the way for more channels, which paved the way for us to click through so-many-things-but-nothing-to-

watch for hours on end.

Things like that show where the points don't matter.  That's right, the points are just like Drew Carey on "Whose Line Is It Anyway."  (And a very Happy Birthday to Drew...)

Enjoy the rest of World Turtle Day!

Animation Nation: Pixar and Dreamworks

So sorry for the lack of a Monday Report, and for the delay in today's reporting.  I've been terribly busy tending to a wide variety of air traffic emergencies, as you can imagine.  But we should be returning to normal now.
 
One reader followed up on Friday's Report, even though much of that edition was culled from links he provided.  He suggests that the best view in Paris, and one that includes the Eiffel Tower, is actually found at the top of the Sacre-Coeur, a cathedral in northern Paris.  Having been there with my parents when I studied in London, I strongly agree, though our view that day was slightly clouded by fog and potential volcanic ash. 

I was excited this weekend to learn that Pixar was re-releasing four films in theaters for Memorial Day weekend.  And some fan favorites, too... Perhaps, as the linked article suggests, to remind us that the misguided Cars 2 is not at all par for the course for one of the most consistently critically and commercially successful film studios in film history.  (Indeed, as the one Pixar film that I did not see in theaters, I would rank it as a double-bogey at best.)  Certainly the tear-jerking opening montage of Up, the wonderful space sequences of Wall-E, and the Parisian settings of Ratatouille will restore any faith lost by the many fart jokes of Mater the tow truck.  And if those don't persuade viewers, surely the theatrical re-release of the third installment of the most critically successful film trilogy of all time will.  No lie, nerd that I am, I knew a lot of those things that they said I probably didn't know... Pixar films are full of great Easter Eggs, and this article is really only scratching the surface.

Much as I don't want to refer to it again, Cars 2 serves as a useful segue to another piece I've been hanging onto for a while.  In the absence of a good Pixar film last summer, Dreamworks snuck in and won me over with another installment of Kung-Fu Panda.  I've long had problems with Dreamworks animation and the generally mediocre quality work I think they put out... Too many pop-culture references and poop jokes and not enough story.  And as much as I love the first two things there (especially when they are combined!) I put storytelling above all else.  Sure every once in a while they pull through with something like Shrek (sequels get stale) and How To Train Your Dragon (holy flying-scenes, Batman!), and I do consider Ice Age to be a factor in my attending Georgetown... But overall, I'm not a huge fan.  Maybe the secret to the success of Kung-Fu Panda, though, is some source material its artists may have been drawing on.  No evidence to support this theory, but still, I mean... Look at the pictures!

That's all for today!  Walk around a dark hallway popping pills and running from ghosts; Pac-Man debuted in Japan 32 years ago!

City Skies, the Ken Burns Effect, Coffee

Welcome to the end of another work week.  Time flies, it really does.  As I walk through Georgetown's campus and find it all prepared for a graduation that is not mine, and look at my calendar to find I've been working here for exactly 10 months, that's the only conclusion I can reach.  (Another example of time flying... Started this report this morning, didn't finish til 12:45. All work and no play.)

Lots of excitement around Wednesday's report.  Two readers reflected on how much their younger selves would have loved to stumble on a real-life mystery like that in their own home.  Another was reminded of childhood adventures, though his were less hypothetical, as he reflected on trips to the Winchester Mystery House, which he describes as "the incredible product of a deranged woman who, from the time her husband died until the time she herself croaked, kept adding rooms and staircases-to-nowhere and trapdoors and reverse fireplaces and all kinds of weird stuff to the house."  I've never been, but I remember seeing it on some sort of scary homes special on the Travel Channel or something.  Looking at it now, I am reminded of the thrilling and wildly original novel House of Leaves, which centers on a house larger on the inside than it is on the outside.

One reader is actually a wealth of resources for today's report, having also provided some excellent links to city skylines.  First, he sent over an Atlantic photo series on night sky views focused around London, though including some other UK cities, as well.  I am struck first by how many Ferris wheels there are in the series, beyond just the now iconic London Eye.  Is the UK particularly rich with Ferris wheels, or do they just make neat things to photograph, I wonder.  I was also disappointed to see that a photo featuring the BT Tower in London did not make the cut.  Though not as iconic as some of London's other towers, it was right near where I lived when I studied there, and thus served as a guiding star home on many a night when the exact route to where I lived was a bit foggy...  The second link provided by this reader also features a skyline with a missing tower.  I have heard it noted of the Eiffel Tower that, while it provides the best view of Paris, photos taken from the top always miss one element of the City of Light, namely the Eiffel Tower.  Still, even without an appearance from the Tower itself, this interactive Paris panorama is a great way to look around the city.

To close things out for the week, two shorter items, both found via Andrew Sullivan's "The Dish."  First, Ken Burns reflects on storytelling.  Burns is, of course, a master of turning massive events, histories, or pastimes into interesting stories, even when footage is limited to slow pans and zooms across still photographs.  So his two cents is probably worth something.  And second, good-ish news for the coffee addicts among the readership.  The Washington Post reports on a study that argues that heavy coffee drinkers show potentially prolonged lifespans.  But even on Causal Friday, correlation is not causation, as the commenters have been quick to note.  The best comment, by far, though, is the reader who notes that, regardless of her own prolonged lifespan, those around her have a better chance of living longer when she has her coffee.  Touche, sassy reader, touche.

Hope the rest of your Friday (30) Rocks.  (It's Tina Fey's birthday!)

New Houses, New Mysteries

It seems animals should be a regular part of our Tuesday morning rotation... Lots of positive and thankful responses for the fuzzy faces to get us through that terrible day.  In fact, one response had me ready to send out a follow-up report, it was so perfect.  While it was great to see the animal moms in the Daily Beast slideshow, Victoria's Washington Post submission pays tribute to some of the adoptive mothers of the animal world.  The Rottweiler and wolf pup are so cute, and-- SQUIRREL!  Andrew, meanwhile, submitted a plug for his company's upcoming show, Animal Practice, which will definitely be one to keep an eye out for when new TV seasons begin.

While yesterday's morning was full of reporting, yesterday's evening was full of a new house.  That's right, the desk of the Morning Reporter is moving back down to T Street.  And with a new house comes new housemates.  Here's hoping they aren't as lazy as Nate's roommate Drew.  [They aren't.]  But if they are, I hope they are lazy as creatively as Drew is.  A meme-d excuse to not work out is a good excuse to not work out in my book.

And speaking of books, I'm still exploring the new house for the book that reveals clues to the house's secret codes and mysteries, like the one that the Klinsky family found in their 5th Avenue Apartment when they moved in in 2008.  Described as family-friendly DaVinci Code meets Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, the story of this apartment is one of the pieces from the New York Times that has lingered in my memory the longest, right down to the little salamanders.  What a fun (and beautiful) apartment with so many great details.  I particularly love the simple little plane drawing that hides the scale kitchen.  Any architects and artists among the readership, be prepared for a phone call when my family buys its first house, we'll be calling you up to help design a fun mystery adventure for our children to solve.

That's all we've got for the Report today!  I'm off to be trained on the Adobe suite... So maybe future editions will include some of you guys photoshopped in with puppies or Pixar characters!  We shall see!  [Indeed future banners would indicate Adobe prowess...]

Dress up as a British nanny and sneak some cayenne pepper into your ex-wife's new boyfriend's jambalaya... It's Pierce Brosnan's 59th birthday!  (A Bond reference was too straightforward, and all of his other roles decidedly forgettable.)

Animals with Moms, Windows, and Apples

Ah, the terrible Tuesday.  That longest day of the week, when the weekend seems like it was ages ago, and next weekend is a distant speck on the horizon.  And lord knows we all look forward to the weekends, even if it means two Report-less days.  And Report-less weekends mean there was no Report this past Sunday; the only person who received communication from me that morning was Mom.  While that is great for Mom (and I hope you wished all of your mothers a Happy Mother's Day, dear readers!), it meant that as a collective readership, we could not enjoy a selection from the glut of adorable mom-stuff that found its way online this weekend.

Well then, let's consider today "Mother's Day (Observed)" and take a look at something cute.  While Time Magazine is getting all the buzz about moms lately for their controversial cover photo (BOOBS!), Newsweek's Daily Beast put out some shots of parent-child bonding that are infinitely more shareable.  How about that polar bear cub gazing up at mom?  And little zebu getting in trouble?  But my favorite is the tamarin, if only because it involves the statement, "admires its mother's mustache," a seldom-used combination of words.

Sometimes, though, little babies, be they animal or human, need some time away from mom.  (Hear that, Time magazine cover lady?)  They long to get out and explore the world on their own.  Experience it for themselves.  But sometimes, something gets in the way.  And sometimes that thing is a window.  And sometimes the results are cute photographs of planned escapes, adventures, and lives.  The main question that arises here is not what they are planning, but which one is cuter:  The kitten with its arm around the other in photo four, or the two-head-kitten-totem-pole of photo seven?  Or do dog and raccoon on the outside looking in trump them all?

And finally for today, we can't discuss animals looking out windows without me thinking of an animal looking at Macs.  This is actually the funniest thing I have ever sent in a Morning Report.  Without fail, it makes me laugh out loud every time I read it.  I would make puns and witty remarks about it, but really, the writer of the piece has already got everything covered.  The entire process of analysis.  Everything you would experience when you see a horse in an Apple Store.  It's all there.  Ready to be laughed at.

Eat something terrible for you today; it's the 72nd anniversary of the opening of the first McDonalds (in San Bernadino, California).

Til tomor- THERE IS A LITTLE PONY IN THE APPLE STORE.

Once Again, to Zelda

 I was thrilled to learn on Friday how many squirrel fans there are among our readership, and ice cream fans, as well.  (Also thrilled that no readers proposed a cross-over of squirrel ice cream.)  One reader provided a fantastic comic on Friday in response to Thursday's report on Maurice Sendak.  Seriously, thank you to all those who submit links and such.  I promise I'm trying to find ways to work them all in, but we have a sizable backlog that we're working with, too.

But today we're not digging into the backlog at all.  I spent this weekend traveling to New York and back to see the play "Gatz," an 8 hour marathon theater experience in which the entirety of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby is read/performed on stage.  The experience is so much more than that, but it is hard to describe in any other way.  The concept is this:  A man enters his office, finds that his computer is not working, and also finds a copy of the novel at his desk.  He begins to read aloud, and over the next 8 hours, his office is transformed, coworkers become characters, and previously unrealized layers of the novel become apparent.  For example, Nick Carraway is an absolutely hilarious and snarky narrator.  Bet you didn't realize that in 10th grade American Lit!

The Public Theater also put together some great promotional material for the piece, including a variety of (some recognizable) actors, writers, and more reading both the opening and famous closing of the novel.  (Note: None of those talents appear in the production.)  Though maybe they should have focused more on merchandising for marketing... I would wear a Gatz shirt, much like this t-shirt.  (It makes me sad because I've never seen such - such beautiful shirts before.)  What a classic cover.  Though the re-design presented for Penguin Essentials is pretty cool, too.

Not sure if this show should be called an adaptation of the work or not, since it's presented in its original entirety.  Not like the Robert Redford film.  Or the upcoming Baz Luhrmann film.  And this (tragically auto-tuned, but) fantastic rap adaptation.  But as far as adaptations go, there really is none as unique as The Great Gatsby video game originally released for NES.  An incredible piece of work, right down to the (fake) backstory.  And be sure to check out the merchandise section of their page... Hilarious.

That's all for today... More cute animals and such to come later in the week to make up for this literature (and video game!!) heavy post.  Funny, though, that a Report about great writing should fall on George Lucas's birthday... Given his failure to grasp fundamentals of storytelling and good dialogue writing and all...

Til to-morrow, we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning---