Halloweek Day 2 - Costumeization

It looks like the Great Pumpkin is on his way!  He appears to be peeking up out of the patch today.  Could the Morning Report be the most faithful Pumpkin Patch???
Maybe he's looking to get a glimpse of all those adorable costumed animals that certainly provoked a lot of reader response yesterday.  The moose-dog and the geese were crowd favorites,  while one reader questioned the time it took to develop the revised banner.  Perhaps the Great Pumpkin will tell us if he rises...  Finally, yet another reader provided some pictures of a dog that sets the bar in the costumed canine world.  Trotter the French Bulldog brings a certain flair for sophistication to the outfits he is put in by food photographer Sonya Yu.  The samples on Colossal are great, but Yu's Instagram page has even more Trotter outfits scattered among her food photos.

So now you have ideas on how to dress your pets.  BUT: What if you don't have pets?  What then?  Today's Report is all about ideas for how to settle on the perfect costume for your Halloween.  To do this, we're going to break things down into four basic categories: Scary, Sexy, Pop-Culture, and Lazy.  Sure, there are others.  (The glut of over-priced mask and suit/dress costumes to turn four-year-olds into little superheroes and Disney princesses come to mind.)  But really, as far as the DIY costume is concerned, those are the basics.

SCARY:  I'm gonna go ahead and say avoid this.  Seriously.  I hate being scared by people.  I choose not to go on haunted hay rides and into haunted houses/prisons/woods for this reason.  Just this past weekend one of our readers and I were were up in New Hampshire and heard a woman discussing a haunted house where you could sign a waiver and the people inside you could "touch you and do whatever they wanted and stuff."  She said this with excitement in her voice.  This sounds AWFUL.  And I know that this won't happen by default of people in public dressing up as scary, but seriously, there are kids out there on Halloween.  Nobody wants to have to cross the street with a crying baby to stay away from the scary bleeding clown man.  Of course, there are some costumes that are not inherently scary, but make for terrifying things once they've aged a bit.

SEXY:  So if you're not gonna be scary, perhaps your Mean Girls mind leaped to the only other alternative offered in the film.  Toss on a pair of ears, some lingerie, and now you're a sexy [fill in the blank].  The sexy costume route used to be mildly acceptable.  I mean this "used to" in two senses.  First, the "sexy" costumes of the 1920s and 1930s are pretty tolerable.  ("Damn, man, did you see that chick's ankle?!")  But things evolved to become literally NSFW.  Therein lies the second "used to."  The sexy [noun] worked in college.  Hell, you could even get away with it in high school.  (Though, just as the presence of kids in the world means adults shouldn't dress scary, the presence of adults in the world means that kids shouldn't dress sexy.)  But now, those of us in the working world have a choice to make: We can become workplace legends by sexing it up at the office Halloween party OR we can keep our jobs.  I'm going with the latter.

POP-CULTURE:  In my mind, the winningest costume is something rooted in popular culture.  For people who recognize you, they'll think you're really freaking awesome.  And for people who don't know who you are, well, there's your opportunity to evangelize for one of your favorite movies/TV shows/books.  Either way, you're a walking conversation starter.  Given the Report's age distribution, most of the readership will find some ideas for awesome costumes rooted in childhood here.  Don't like that, then do something more contemporary.  (Can't go wrong by grabbing a pair of cutoffs and blueing yourself.  If you don't have blue paint, diamond dust will do in a pinch.)  The creative genius of Pixar is also a great place to find inspiration.  But no matter what you do, you're not going to beat little Carl Fredricksen, here.

LAZY:  "But Evan, I don't have time to do any of that!"  Fine.  Thing is, you don't really have to.  There are plenty of great costumes waiting for you in the detritus of your closet.  That bowling shirt you won at trivia?  Thrift store cowboy hat?  Tie-dye anything?  Yeah, you've got costumes galore.  (Not sure what wearing all three of those together would make you...)  Don't believe me?  Check out this slideshow for some lazy ideas.  (Sure they're for kids, but don't even pretend like you don't have some of those things at home.)

Or, you could reach the pinnacle of laziness and find a sheet and a pair of scissors.  Are those people boo-ing your laziness, or are they joining in with your haunting holiday spirit?

Just remember to be careful with the scissors, or you might end up with a rock.

Noises Off

Before we start today's reporting, many thanks for the positive feedback on Monday's Oreo piece.  I feel encouraged to try more long form reflection on important issues in future reports, just as one reader felt compelled to bake some DIY Oreos.  My mother, meanwhile, brought to my attention another piece of timely Oreo news: The man who invented the modern Oreo filling that we know and love, Sam J. Porcello, died at the end of last month.  (No, he wasn't over 100.  The frosting gluing the cookies together got a new recipe during Porcello's 34 years at Nabisco.)

Today, though, we transition from food to sounds.  (A transition that would deeply upset my uncle, who I suspect is mildly misophonic.)  First, toss on some headphones and head over to the Museum of Endangered Sounds.  Brendan Chilcutt has constructed a living record of dying noises, from that iconic Nokia ringtone to the beeps of a hungry Tamagotchi.  Some, I think, are more endangered than others.  Pacman and Tetris, for example, have a great deal more longevity than ye olde printer and floppy disk.  (Added bonus: Fans of Gerbils can go exploring on the Museum's page to find some contemporary cuteness to jumpstart their day.)

While these sounds may spark nostalgia for some of our older readers and "What the hell noise is that?" from some of our younger readers, NPR reports on the science behind another type of sound: the scary noise.  The increasingly frantic cellos of Jaws; the slashing strings of Psycho; the low music that you wish that stupid bimbo could hear, because then she'd know not to open that door, not that she should need the music cue, what's she doing wandering around alone, anyway, everyone knows Ghostface is on the loose... All of these scores that scare are similar to... the sound of shrieking baby marmots?  Really?  An interesting observation, though, as the article notes, the use of nonlinear noises is something composers seem to have picked up on their own, without animal study.  Sorry to anyone hoping for video footage of John Williams wandering around the wilderness snatching up marmots.

And, finally, one more noise for the day, this one less dated or frightening.  Here are 32 Pictures That Will Make You Say 'Awwwww.'  And some inevitable commentary... Are pitbull puppy purses something sold in stores, or was that custom made?  That baby bear tree is amazing, but how did a dozen (by my count) baby bears get up there together?  Maybe the pandas of 17 helped them.  Can't decide if the otter kiss is cuter than the owl one.  And is the giraffe's long neck forcing perspective, or does that baby have a huge head?  And is that bear cub punching his teddy bear friend in the head?  Cutest of the bunch, though? My vote is for the puppy who is ready for his walk.  Though the fox pair is a close second.  Aww, indeed, bonus, possibly stoned puppy, aww indeed.

If you find yourself up on the rooftop doing some home improvement, try not to fall, even if you do so with style.  (That's right, it's Tim Allen's birthday!)

To Infinity, and Beyond!

Animation Nation: Pixar and Dreamworks

So sorry for the lack of a Monday Report, and for the delay in today's reporting.  I've been terribly busy tending to a wide variety of air traffic emergencies, as you can imagine.  But we should be returning to normal now.
 
One reader followed up on Friday's Report, even though much of that edition was culled from links he provided.  He suggests that the best view in Paris, and one that includes the Eiffel Tower, is actually found at the top of the Sacre-Coeur, a cathedral in northern Paris.  Having been there with my parents when I studied in London, I strongly agree, though our view that day was slightly clouded by fog and potential volcanic ash. 

I was excited this weekend to learn that Pixar was re-releasing four films in theaters for Memorial Day weekend.  And some fan favorites, too... Perhaps, as the linked article suggests, to remind us that the misguided Cars 2 is not at all par for the course for one of the most consistently critically and commercially successful film studios in film history.  (Indeed, as the one Pixar film that I did not see in theaters, I would rank it as a double-bogey at best.)  Certainly the tear-jerking opening montage of Up, the wonderful space sequences of Wall-E, and the Parisian settings of Ratatouille will restore any faith lost by the many fart jokes of Mater the tow truck.  And if those don't persuade viewers, surely the theatrical re-release of the third installment of the most critically successful film trilogy of all time will.  No lie, nerd that I am, I knew a lot of those things that they said I probably didn't know... Pixar films are full of great Easter Eggs, and this article is really only scratching the surface.

Much as I don't want to refer to it again, Cars 2 serves as a useful segue to another piece I've been hanging onto for a while.  In the absence of a good Pixar film last summer, Dreamworks snuck in and won me over with another installment of Kung-Fu Panda.  I've long had problems with Dreamworks animation and the generally mediocre quality work I think they put out... Too many pop-culture references and poop jokes and not enough story.  And as much as I love the first two things there (especially when they are combined!) I put storytelling above all else.  Sure every once in a while they pull through with something like Shrek (sequels get stale) and How To Train Your Dragon (holy flying-scenes, Batman!), and I do consider Ice Age to be a factor in my attending Georgetown... But overall, I'm not a huge fan.  Maybe the secret to the success of Kung-Fu Panda, though, is some source material its artists may have been drawing on.  No evidence to support this theory, but still, I mean... Look at the pictures!

That's all for today!  Walk around a dark hallway popping pills and running from ghosts; Pac-Man debuted in Japan 32 years ago!

Mourning Report: King of All Wild Things

In the last edition of the Report, I discussed my online music time travel adventures.  One reader used my Lady Marmalade reference to follow a train of thought about one marmalade loving Paddington Bear.  He notes, though, that Paddington's Wikipedia page does nothing to bring to mind the adorable children's book character of memory.  First, there's that creepy statue picture, then there's the description:  "Paddington is an anthropomorphised bear... from Deepest, Darkest Peru, with his old hat, battered suitcase, duffle coat."  We would be wise to follow Jon's advice:  If anything matching that description turned up in Paddington Station... Call the police immediately... See something, say something.

Today's report also focuses on a legendary figure of children's literature, as we reflect on the passing of Maurice Sendak.  Though Sendak wrote and/or illustrated over 100 books during his career, readers no doubt remember him most for the classics Where the Wild Things Are and In the Night Kitchen. Anyone familiar with my wardrobe or bookshelf will know that I am a huge fan of Where the Wild Things Are, owning three t-shirts based on the book, the book itself, and two copies of Dave Eggers' novel adaptation  (One fur covered, one not).  For today's report, I felt it would be appropriate to compile some of my favorite Sendak (or tangentially related) web items.

First, a trailer for the Spike Jonze's film adaptation.  I admit it, this is what sparked my resurgence of Sendak enthusiasm.  I also admit that I have watched that trailer more than any other movie preview ever in my life.  Furthermore, I think it might be better than the film itself, though the film has some beautiful and poignant moments that don't make the two minute cut.  Still, the wondrous visuals, the Arcade Fire soundtrack, and the "Inside All of Us" tag-line led to months of giddy anticipation.  And as long as I'm admitting things, I went to that movie alone at 11:00 AM on opening day, after having stayed up all night writing an English paper.  That's how much the trailer worked on me.  (And as long as we're doing tangential stories, Max Records, who stars as Max, is also featured in the opening of Rian Johnson's phenomenal The Brothers Bloom, an opening that can really stand as it's own short film.)

Spike Jonze wasn't the first one who saw screen potential in Sendak's famous book, though.  Disney once owned the adaptation rights to the book, but never brought it to theaters.  The idea was used, though, in some very early testing of 3D computer animation.  This 1983 test animation was spearheaded by none other than John Lasseter, now Chief Creative Officer at Pixar and Disney Animation Studios, and director of Pixar's first three films.  It is no coincidence that a writer and artist that so respects the children that are viewed has his primary audience once inspired the early work of a filmmaker whose studio does the same.

Finally, some interviews.  Of course, Stephen Colbert's highly entertaining interview in two parts is worth a view.  As is this 2004 interview with Bill Moyers.  The real great ones, though, are on NPR.  Throughout his career, Sendak had several conversations (they can hardly be called interviews, they are so comfortable) with Terry Gross, and NPR has conveniently compiled them on one remembrance page.  His reflections here are beautiful, but I advise against listening to them at work, unless you are comfortable with your coworkers seeing you cry.  (This is especially true for the most recent interview.)  If there is any quote worth pulling here, though, it is one NPR has already pulled and bolded:  "I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more... What I dread is the isolation... There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."  I find comfort in knowing this.  We ate him up, we loved him so.  And as one reader of the report has observed, that may mean he's still alive.

And, having eaten him up, may we be like Maurice:  Creative, honest, perseverant, and respectful of children...

And may we also be like Max:  Unafraid to make mischief, courageous enough to sail off through night and day, and brave enough to tame our wild things...

And when we grow lonely and tire of the wild rumpus, may we always have a place to go where someone loves us best of all...

And when we get there, may we find our supper waiting for us... still hot.

 

Til tomorrow, reporting from the desk where the filed things are,

~Evan

Movie Previews and Recreating "Tree of Life"

A bit of a rainy morning today, at least it was earlier... And it looks like rain for the rest of the week, too.  So perhaps the corgi was not a sign of good things, at least not weather-wise.  Like the old sailor adage says, "Corgi on Monday, Stormy til Sunday."  The weather suggests it will be a great week for video gaming.  So don't feel so bad about playing at work.

But for the non-gamers out there, maybe the rainy forecast is inspiring thoughts about movie theaters.  (Is there a better way to pass a rainy day than in a dark room full of strangers? I don't think so.)  But, you ask, what would I see at the theater?  Well, luckily you won't need to ask yourself that for the rest of this summer after this Summer Movie Preview!  So many "Must Sees," from superheroes to Sundance sweethearts.  Possibly one of the biggest superhero summers in movie history, actually.  Marvel's five-year hero project finally comes to a head, uniting Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, and Captain America with Black Widow and Hawkeye to form The Avengers, and Christopher Nolan's raving fanboys will no doubt proclaim his "do-no-wrong" greatness with the release of The Dark Knight Rises.  I'm most excited for The Amazing Spider-Man, even though the reboot has some fans of the Sam Raimi/Tobey Maguire original a bit confused... But seriously, if Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone aren't the hottest on-screen couple of the summer, then there must be a movie I haven't heard about yet where Ryan Gosling dates Natalie Portman (Hollywood, get on that).  As for Indies, anyone who wants to join me for Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom, Safety Not Guaranteed, or Beasts of the Southern Kingdom, let me know.  And, of course, [our red-headed readership] must be all excited about Pixar's Brave celebration of gingers.

But this summer cinema season seems tragically devoid of a Tree of Life-esque cinematic exploration of literally everything ever.  Where will we go for breathy voice-over, long lingering shots of the galaxy, dinosaur bonding, and sweeping shots of the Earth from on-high?  No need to search for the way of grace or the way of nature, we've got at least part of your solution right here.  These beautiful images of earth from above are just what the doctor ordered.  And the still frames move only slightly slower than some of the shots in Malick's film!  Toss on Jurassic Park in the background and whisper the captions to yourself, and you're practically reliving the movie!  All you need now is to invite Brad Pitt over to yell at your kids while Jessica Chastain quietly encourages them and Sean Penn makes occasional and baffling appearances.

If you're looking for a more entertaining ambitious piece of cinema, I'd recommend taking some time to view Citizen Kane today.  It's the film's 71st anniversary, after all!

Mornings.  Reports.  Always you wrestle inside of me, always you will.