As northeast heats up (a high of 70 in DC is hardly Januweather), the Report is cooling down with a few ice related pieces.
First up: ice cream, specifically ice cream trucks. Photographer Luke Stephenson captured photos of these old ice cream trucks before they get scrapped for no longer meeting EU regulations. Classic and a little bit creepy, these trucks embody a few fundamental elements of the ice cream truck. First, the knock-off handpainted copyright infringing presentations of cartoon characters. I spy Tom, Jerry, Goofy, Pluto, two Donalds, three Poohs, a Pinocchio, and a faded Snow White. Then there's the ice cream cone strapped to the front, the flavors featured on the side of the truck, and at least one odd instance of the claim that these pre-wrapped popsicles and ice cream bars with bubblegum eyes are "Freshly Made For You." Sorry, "Ice Man," I highly doubt you made that Two-Ball Screwball yourself. (Also, that is the name of a treat we sell to children, and no one in marketing was like "Hold up, guys...")
Next up, I know some of our readers are excited at the return of hockey season. Grantland has compiled a look at the most customized piece of hockey equipment: the goalie mask. I pick Richard Bachman's Stephen King referencing Shining mask as my favorite, especially as it is cleverly named KSAM REDRUM. Pekka Rinne's voodoo mask is pretty frightening, too. And for its sheer simplicity of design, I second the writer's statement: "I just really likeBen Scrivens's Toronto Maple Leafs mask. That is all."
And as long as we're talking hockey, let me take another hack at your productivity today, and remind you that two weeks ago, Google put out this gem of an interactive Doodle, allowing readers to fulfill the universal dream of anyone who has ever attended a hockey game: to be the Zamboni driver.
The only thing we have to report is the Report itself. And that it is the 131st anniversary of the birth of FDR.
Time travel is in vogue right now. The subject ebbs and flows in
pop-culture, but right now the Venn Diagram of popular and nerdy sits
with time travel comfortably nestled in the middle. Consider the recent
and rapid rise in popularity of the BBC's Doctor Who
in American TV culture. Sure America is a few years late in joining
the party with the space and time hopping time lord and his companions,
but Netflix and the growing geekery have seen fit to go so far as to put
Matt Smith's bowtied mug on the cover of Entertainment Weekly!
And on the big screen, Rian Johnson's time-travel action film Looper
is scoring positive reviews and continuing Joseph Gordon-Levitt's year
of success. Now, I don't want to say too much, because I don't want to
give anything away. I went into the movie knowing only the vaguest
premise, having forced myself only to see the teaser trailer,
and enjoyed it much more having avoided spoilers. Basically: JGL
works for the mob, whacking targets sent back in time from a future
where time travel exists. This already works for a compelling premise,
but the real kicker comes in when JGL's future self is sent back for
execution. And the real kick-ass comes in when JGL's future self is
Bruce Willis. Seriously. It's awesome. But don't look it up. Just go
see it. Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday. Whenever.
Looper's release has prompted a flurry of sites cataloging
time-travel rules, time-travel movie moments, and top time-travel
stories. But: So many of these sites contain subtle Looper spoilers, so
I don't want to link to them. (Sorry, Wall Street Journal's "Four
Rules of Time-Travel," you get no love from me.) Thankfully, a few
pages exist sans-Looper, so we'll include those. (Other movies will be
spoiled. But they're old. After five years, no forgiveness needs to be
granted for spoilers. And beyond fifty years, things that are
"spoilers" should enter common knowledge.*)
Discovery put together a
nice tidy list of Top 22 Time Travel Movies with vague descriptions and background information. Better, albeit more spoilery, though, is TotalFilm's list of the 50 Greatest Time Travel Movie Moments.
Some of them are questionable. (Did George Bailey really time
travel?) Some are surprising. (Love that Muppet Christmas Carol made
the cut!) One is... Dali.
And, for all the Back to the Future references, one is mysteriously
absent. It's like the list makers said, "Roads? Where we're going we
don't need to mention the fact that where they're going they don't need roads!" It's your list, TotalFilm! Something has got to be done about your list!
That's all for today. Be sure to thank the management... It's Boss's Day!
Strong support yesterday for the adorable story of Joshie, as well as
for the scientific method of reporting on the Higgs Boson. Higgs also
inspired last night's (tragically non-winning) trivia team name: "Are
You There, God Particle, It's Me, Margaret." Because, y'know... The
Higgs Boson wants to hear all about the Mag's Pre-Teen Problems.
Today we move from science to soda. (Which, in the world of secret
recipes and carbonation, is a type of science.) John Nese shares his obsession with soda
(or "pop" or "Coke" to those of you who are wrong/from other regions)
in this thirteen minute interview. Admittedly it's a bit long, but for
those of you who work through it, you'll find some interesting trivia
and rewarding comments. Nese getting all worked up about energy drinks
is good stuff, but what's really fun is watching his enthusiasm build as
he explores his own shelves. A kid in a candy store has seldom seemed a
more appropriate parallel than here with this man in his soda shop. As
one of the few Moxie fans
that I know, I was thrilled to learn that it is the only soda name
found in the dictionary. And coffee soda?! What-the-what?!
To pair with the refreshing bubbles of soda-pop, we've got a couple
of video-game related items. First, some video games that have been re-created as traditional Japanese art.
Not gonna lie, some of these games are dramatically improved by this
art shift. A Samurai Starfox would have been great, though I'm also a
fan of the Wes Anderson take
on that world of barrel-rolls. Pokemon's apparent move to some seedy
underbelly of the gambling world exposes the danger and corruption
involved in what is essentially dog-fighting (just with more varied
breeds). And following Mario Kart: Double-Dash, I'm surprised Nintendo
didn't try to tap transportation nostalgia and draft "Mario Kart:
Rickshaw Racers." Speaking of Mario, here's an excellent map detailing
the Mario World of Nesteros. An entertaining link for Game of
Thrones fans, and one which has me searching for "Who-Plays-Who"
parallels between the fantasy series and the games. All I've got is a
Peach-esque Daenerys searching all over for three Yoshis that she somehow managed to lose.
JAY! JAY! JAY! It's Sophia Vergara's birthday and that's got me hungry... Hungry for more Hunger Gaaaaaaaames!
[One reader hoped this Report's title referred to Rob Lowe's classic performance as Sodapop Curtis in The Outsiders. This led to my proposal of a new weekly report on Rob Lowe's activities, called "The Rob Lowedown." I also proposed a cute toy / street gang mash-up of My Little Ponyboy. Neither of these projects materialized.]
So sorry for the lack of a Monday Report, and for the delay in today's
reporting. I've been terribly busy tending to a wide variety of air traffic emergencies, as you can imagine. But we should be returning to normal now.
One reader followed up on Friday's Report, even though much of that
edition was culled from links he provided. He suggests that the best
view in Paris, and one that includes the Eiffel Tower, is actually found
at the top of the
Sacre-Coeur,
a cathedral in northern Paris. Having been there with my parents when I
studied in London, I strongly agree, though our view that day was
slightly clouded by fog and potential volcanic ash.
I was excited this weekend to learn that Pixar was
re-releasing four films in
theaters for Memorial Day weekend. And some fan favorites, too...
Perhaps, as the linked article suggests, to remind us that the misguided
Cars 2 is not at all par for the course for one of the most
consistently critically and commercially successful film studios in film
history. (Indeed, as the one Pixar film that I did not see in
theaters, I would rank it as a double-bogey at best.) Certainly the
tear-jerking opening montage of Up, the wonderful space sequences of Wall-E, and the Parisian settings of Ratatouille
will restore any faith lost by the many fart jokes of Mater the tow
truck. And if those don't persuade viewers, surely the theatrical
re-release of the third installment of the most critically successful film trilogy of all time
will. No lie, nerd that I am, I knew a lot of those things that they
said I probably didn't know... Pixar films are full of great Easter
Eggs, and this article is really only scratching the surface.
Much as I don't want to refer to it again, Cars 2 serves as a useful
segue to another piece I've been hanging onto for a while. In the
absence of a good Pixar film last summer, Dreamworks snuck in and won me
over with another installment of Kung-Fu Panda. I've long had problems
with Dreamworks animation and the generally mediocre quality work I
think they put out... Too many pop-culture references and poop jokes and
not enough story. And as much as I love the first two things there
(especially when they are combined!) I put storytelling above all else.
Sure every once in a while they pull through with something like
Shrek
(sequels get stale) and How To Train Your Dragon (holy flying-scenes,
Batman!), and I do consider Ice Age to be a factor in my attending
Georgetown... But overall, I'm not a huge fan. Maybe the secret to the
success of Kung-Fu Panda, though, is some source material its artists may have been drawing on. No evidence to support this theory, but still, I mean... Look at the pictures!
That's all for today! Walk around a dark hallway popping pills and running from ghosts;
Pac-Man debuted in Japan 32 years ago!
