Remember, Remember

I hope you all had enjoyable and restful weekends full of friends, family, and perhaps even a little treating yo self.  Though none of you owned up to it, some of you may even have been kicking off beards and novels!  One reader submitted some particularly impressive beards to strive for.  Interestingly, this list of 10 epic beards also brings to light the important connection between hat and facial hair.  The proper pairing is crucial, it would appear.

And speaking of hat-hair combinations, let us discuss the famous combination of the day.  The black hat, creepy mask that is the face of today, November 5, or Guy Fawkes Day.  Guy Fawkes Day (or Night) has been celebrated in Britain for years, as a celebration of the arrest of Guy Fawkes on November 5, 1605, as he guarded explosives intended to destroy the House of Lords.  Now the holiday is commemorated with fireworks and bonfires, often including the burning of an effigy (usually of Guy Fawkes, though some towns make controversial picks...)  The holiday is also celebrated by comic book nerds, action movie fans, and Natalie Portman lovers worldwide, as they use it as an excuse to watch the Fawkes-themed V for Vendetta.  (Not to be confused with the equally harrowing C for Cookie.)

But when we "Remember remember the 5th of November" for Guy Fawkes alone, what are we "Forgetting, forgetting?"  I've picked two things that we should remember not to forget in all of our remembering.

Remember 1:  Bryan and Ryan Adams' Birthday.  Okay, so this is technically two things.  But seriously, how weird is it that two similarly named but unrelated musicians have the SAME birthday?!  Now, to be perfectly honest, I don't know too much about Ryan Adams, though a quick YouTube search led me to this beautiful song.  He's also got a damn good cover of Wonderwall that totally changes the song.  Seriously, I am probably saying stuff that everybody who knows about music already knows.  I'm just discovering this stuff for the first time.  I'm much more well-versed in the music of Canada's second-greatest export, Bryan Adams.  (Sorry, Celine, Martin Short is first greatest.)  The Bryan Adams compilation album "So Far So Good," with that iconic muddy tire cover was a regular rider on the three-disc carousel of my family's stereo, and I was the one who kept granting it admission.  And my knowledge of "Summer of '69" once earned me bonus points on a high school English exam, as I finished the sentence "I got my first real six-string, bought it at the  five and dime."  I could sing-along to pretty much the whole album, from the best thing about Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves*, "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You,"  to "Can't Stop This Thing We Started."  So, at the very least, if you don't want to Remember, Remember Bryan and Ryan today, Imagine Imagine me at age seven dancing around my living room singing this. 

Remember 2:  Of much greater historical significance than Messrs. Ryan and Ryan, 150 years ago today, on November 5, 1872, Susan B. Anthony cast her vote in the 1872 presidential election.  Though she backed the winning candidate, Ulysses S Grant, when she "positively voted the Republican ticket," she ended up with a $100 fine for her action.  She never paid this fine, but her arrest, her sham of a trial under justice Ward Hunt, and her fine, all served to further the women's suffrage movement, as Anthony addressed the question, "Is it a crime for a citizen of the United States to vote?"  

Even more than Guy Fawkes day; even more than Bryan and Ryan Adams; and even more than adorable, pajama-clad, seven-year-old Evan looking back now at a summer that seemed to last forever, Readers, remember, remember the vote of Susan B Anthony today.  Specifically, remember it in preparation to commemorate it tomorrow.  When asked the question that Susan B. Anthony posed following her vote 150 years ago, "Is it a crime for a citizen of the United States to vote?," I encourage the readership of the Morning Report to answer not with words, but with actions, by voting in tomorrow's election.

*How about that for a negatively positive review of a song?

***   FOLLOW-UP  ***

Following on the Guy Fawkes description, one reader asked: "Were the explosively [sic] to be placed just beneath the chamber of the House of Lords? Would the explosion not have destroyed the Palace of Westminster in its entirety, and therefore the Commons as well?"

I did a bit of history digging and found out more:

I did some digging and found this map of Westminster from the mid 18th century. A bit later than we are discussing, but let us assume the layout was the same. 

H of L indicates the House of Lords, while H of Commons indicates the House of Commons. 

While V was able to take down the whole building, the explosives available to Mr Fawkes and the rest of the Gunpowder Plotters were far more rudimentary than those of the dystopic future. 

Fawkes was found guarding 36 barrels of gunpowder. Enough to obliterate the House of Lords and kill the not-Catholic King James I, but not enough to reduce the Palace to rubble. The goal was ultimately to eliminate James and replace him with his Catholic daughter. James' supporters would no doubt also be taken out in this assassination attempt, but the symbolic destruction of the establishment ended there, not with the total destruction of the building/government as it did for the masked and revenge-driven anarchist of Alan Moore's creation.

The Pale King of Pop

Things are underway a bit late here at the Report, but it's allowed us to gather some great material for you today, continuing a debate that I inadvertently spurred yesterday with my flippant comment on Sodapop.  (No, not the Outsider. The drink he's holding.)  Yes, having taken linguistics classes, I should have acknowledged that there are regional differences in the words people use for things.  In New England, things are "wicked cool."  In Rhode Island, a lot of women (and some men) have "PSDS".  People in the midwest pack things into "baygs."  In the non-existent, imaginary region that my Dad's voice is from, people drink "melk."  But few words create more regional tension than those that define.
 
Courtesy of Andrew Sullivan over at the Dish, I have found an objective investigation of the soda-pop-coke phenomenon.  Interesting method of data accumulation.  I was particularly taken with the filtering to ensure only soft drink related posts were tagged, then avoid talking of "Coke" as a brandname... Though interesting he doesn't acknowledge filtering out alternative uses of Coke... Interesting that soda is such a coastal term... How did it pass over the middle of the nation without touching down?  And seriously, what cutesy fantasy world is it where "fizzy drink" is a common expression?  Oh, New Zealand?  Okay.  That makes sense.  Freaking Hobbits.
 
The second major story today is an interesting article on the largest piece of literary intrigue in the past year.  No, Dan Brown didn't release a new book.  (If he did, chances are someone's secret child is part of some organization's plot for world domination.)  I'm referring to the Pulitzer Prize Board's decision not to award a prize for literature in 2012, in spite of what I understand were three pretty outstanding nominees.  Well, Michael Cunningham, author of The Hours and Specimen Days, and one of the three jurors for this year's decision has come out with a "letter" explaining the process.  Really, though, his piece is much more than that, as it offers a thoughtful reflection on the general awarding of prizes to works of literature.  
My favorite quote from the piece, though, is on generational subjectivity:

"What seem fatal flaws to one generation strike the next as displays of artistic courage. Who cares that Henry James went on sometimes at questionable length because he was being paid by the word? Who cares, for that matter, that Marconi merely invented radio transmission when his actual goal was to pick up the voices of the dead?"

One generation's failure can be another generation's American Top 40 with Casey Kasem!  (Screw you, Seacrest.)

And to prevent things from getting too intellectual here at the Report, here are two cute things:  First, a sweet parody of a song that's been making the Internet rounds, featuring a friend who taught many of us one of our first C-words.  (Get your mind out of the gutter, readers!)  Second, a sour encounter with a healthier snack.

You could call him Aaron Burr by the way he's dropping Hamiltons... And today, he did drop Hamilton.  It's the 208th anniversary of that famous duel.  The Wikipedia piece is an interesting read.  It appears Ham shot first.  (Though George Lucas routinely tampers with the Wiki to edit the past.)