What We Missed

Remember the Report?  Or did you open your inbox yesterday evening and go, "Hello, what's this? Junk mail?"  We're back!  And unlike that July 31 claim that the "Report Rises," when we lasted shorter than Bane without his mask (Maybe? What would have happened there? It would have been extremely painful, I guess) this time we're back for the long haul.

What changed?  Well, in the first place, things really picked up at work, so I had to freeze production rather than rather than reduce quality.  Things are still busy at work, but I'm able to bring things back now, because this weekend, I completed my two major summer projects.  (Both in the same 24 hours.)  First, I completed my reading of all of Michael Chabon's published books.  (Eventually I'll tackle the uncollected stuff, too.)  3601 pages later, that's done, and I'm now reading his newest novel, Telegraph Avenue, albeit at a casual, leisurely pace.  I also completed the script for my children's theater play, "To the Moon," a science-fiction adventure set in 1962, featuring a circus, space pirates, and a Space Race.  For NH readers, there will be reminders forthcoming about the show's October premiere.
 
So, with those projects out of the way, I now plan on preparing the Morning Reports the night before they go out.  (It's sort of like a print report in that regard.)  This way I can keep the quality high in both my Report and my work.  But now, to business.  Specifically the business of considering what could have been.
 
It's frustrating to look back on all the time-appropriate internet findings that I've missed the window of distribution on.  No doubt you saw many of them yourselves.  But let us take this Report to focus on the Reports that Never Were:

The Olympics

How could I have missed these?  I could have offered reflections on the pomp and absurdity of the opening and closing ceremonies.  Discussed my awe at the gymnasts... Particularly at the fact that when the cameras zoom out, you remember all of a sudden that they are so very tiny.  And I would no doubt have complained about the fact that I can't link you to video without NBC kindly requesting that I never report again.  And imagine the number of time-delayed broadcast jokes I could have made about late reports.  We would have seen it in gifs discussed by number (ohmygosh #3 still).  And we would have collectively made a significant increase in the borderline NSFW links to Tom Daley.  But now the Olympics have passed, I missed my opportunity, and I can imagine the look on all your faces.

The Political Conventions

You may recall that I preface all political discussions with a notice on how I try to avoid politics on the Report, but certain items here could not have been avoided.  Well, no, really just one.  Because I could have provided in-depth discussions of these.  And these. (Some overlap, I know.)  And this. 

But now, it is all but too late.  The ship has sailed.

And now it is after Labor Day.  Summer is over.  I know, not because of the calendar, and certainly not because Starbucks insists in pressuring me into their pie-in-a-cup-and-just-as-many-calories Pumpkin Spice Latte.  I know because of the way the world felt this morning, when I left for work in a jacket without sweating through it.  As this NPR reflection on the beginning of fall discusses, it's "just a hint of a change, a certain kind of coolness and the color of the light, but you know it as soon as it hits."  And it has hit, dear reader.  To err is human, to er is autumnal: September, October, November, cider, sweater...

 

Autumn has arrived, the Report has returned, and I, Dear Readers, could not be happier.

India Ink

Another late day for the Report... I'm afraid I accidentally slept in a bit today and spent quite a bit of the morning feeling like this little guy.  But now I've got a stomach full of terrible work coffee and my eyes are open, at least for a little while.  Great responses to yesterday's soda debate (sodebate?), as Mr. Mueth offered another map and some perspective from "an odd island of soda in a sea of pop."  Tamara, meanwhile, found more examples of Rhode Island-ese, in her attempt to translate PSDS:  "We saw BSNDS at the zoo in Franklin Park. We bought it at CS and Roebuck's. Mother always said, "Don't forget to wash behind your ES." The Boos and GS got to Mantle. PS are a juicy fruit. Crying causes TS. This car VS to the left."

While yesterday we discussed words that divide from within a culture, today, we're discussing words that cross from one language and culture to another.  The BBC has a great article on the Hobson-Jobson dictionary, which catalogs words the English language has borrowed from India.  The origin of "dam(n)" is particularly interesting, but what really surprised me was how many commonplace words have Indian roots.  Of course, words like yoga, jodhpur, sari, and guru come from India, but so many of the words (pyjamas, cot, shampoo, atoll, bandana, etc.) are ones that I've always assumed have long been English, not adopted.  The repetition-based words are also fun to say out loud.  Though you'll probably look silly mumbling "higgledy-piggledy" to yourself at work.
 
And as long as we're looking at items involving Britain interfacing with the world, check out the video that the BBC is using as their Olympics titles.  (NOTE: The link auto-plays a video, so be ready for sound right when you click here.)  The video is a brilliant concept, featuring the Olympics just completely taking over England, from the city to the country.  (Surely better than the Opening Ceremonies where the English countryside takes over the Olympics... Including live animals!)  And even beyond the phenomenal integration of sport to site, the transitions between events and locations is also great.  I'm particularly taken with the diver-to-rower transition.
 
Don't stop thinkin' about tomorrow... Because it will be Friday!  But as you think about that, find some time to think about today, too, and about the 69th birthday of Christine McVie, the Fleetwood Mac member who wrote "Don't Stop," "You Make Lovin' Fun" and other hit songs for the greatest album of all time, Rumours.
 
It'll soon be here!